I Survived.

They say that the first year is always the hardest, but I would have to disagree. I loved freshman year of college. Experiencing a big city all by myself was amazing. My friends and I were all on good terms, no drama (yet), I started dating this guy [that story will be on

a later post] and I passed all of my classes. Everything felt at ease.

However, I couldn't help but worry about my faith and whether or not I was considered a Christian. Growing up, I was always told that all Catholics are Christian, but not all Christians are Catholic. Simple enough. Wrong. During my first year, my eyes were opened to some people who are strongly opinionated who disagree. Those students told me I was wrong, I wasn't a Christian, I wasn't 'saved' or baptized...it was really confusing.

Plus how ironic that this all happened at a christian university? Funny how things like that happen, isn't it?

Because of everyone's doubt in me and my religion, I was further from God than I had ever been. I thought to myself "if that's how you act as a Chrisitan, I rather not be a part of that.." This is terrible! I feel guilty for just typing that out, but that's exactly how I felt. And to top it off there was no way to escape this atmosphere. So many rules on campus, everywhere you went and

then you would be required to go to these biblical classes that turned the Bible into a textbook. No wonder why I stopped doing Bible studies in my free time, it would just feel like homework.

Between spring semester of freshman year to the end of my fall semester of my sophmore year, I had my doubts. I was miles from God. I was really stressed out and felt extremely guilty for going to a university that revolved around Him and I was standing there in the middle of it all, questioning his very existance.

All that truly helped me get over this feeling and get back on the right path with my faith was the summer. Being away from the atomosphere for two whole months. Don't get me wrong, I love my school, but some days you feel like you're under a microscope, constantly being watched and judged to see when you're going to screw up. It can be very intimidating. But those two months alone, isolated from everyone from my school made me realize that if they are judging me, then they are no better than any other sinner. Even if they do know more bible verses than me. It's not about who can spit out the most verses in a class, but it's about being able to feel a connection with God. Knowing that He loves us and that we should give all of ourselves to him because he gave it all to us.

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