Closure.

You just ended things between you and your boyfriend. You feel hurt, alone, confused and not really sure if you made the right choice. But you try to tell yourself that everything was going to be okay and then you tell yourself to think about how much better your life will be without them, right? It's funny how at that moment when you try so hard to hate them, you suddenly remember every reason why you fell for them in the beginning. Imagining those moments they made you smile, when you would look over at them while they were driving and it just makes you smile because you feel so in love. Then you sit there thinking about what went wrong and what you did or where things started falling a part. You can't help it...that's natural. Plus, you're not the only one who feels this way.

From my personal experience, I suffered like this for about three months after my break up. I couldn't stop going over every step of what happened; trying to figure out where I messed up, what I did wrong. Then I finally came to the realization that I was not the problem. We were both the problem. It wasn't just me and it wasn't just him. It was us. We just didn't work. We loved each other and had a great time together, but it just didn't work out in the end. It took some time for me to realize this, but it helped me have some closure about what happened.

To get closure from a break up here's what you need to do [from what I've learned & expereienced]. You need to try to stay away from social media. I know that's like a sin nowadays, but trust me. It helps. Try to figure out something else to do with your time like read more books, go out on more adventures, do your homework! Anything that will help keep your mind off trying to check those sites that may show you something that will cause a relapse in your "moving on" process.

Then, you need to box up your things from the relationship and leave them in the box (when you're ready, get rid of the box). This may be a harder step in the process, but you will feel so much better once you don't have the teddy bear or whatever kind of stuffed animal staring you in your face every night. You may feel guilty and sad at first for getting rid of it, but after you will feel empowered and strong. Because if you are the one getting rid of this box, then you will feel like you have a sense of control of the break up. When I did this, I felt that if I can get rid of a box full of memories, then I can move on and take control of my feelings.

If you have done these two steps, then you just need time. Have some time by yourself. One tactic that I found interesting was going out by yourself, asking yourself questions to discover what you like, dislike, believe in or don't believe in. During my relationship I was happy, but because I had him to make me happy. After the break up, it was just me. I had to discover what made me truly happy. Honestly, this was an amazing experience and brought so much closure. I was able to discover hidden interests about myself. I started this blog! I discovered courage. I discovered strength to stand alone.

Break ups suck and are messy, but that doesn't mean that you have to be a mess for the rest of your life. Take time to grow as an individual and discover your strength. I promise it is not the end of the world and you will be able to move on and you'll go back to being your happy self again, but this time it'll be true happiness because you are the one creating it.

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